With the holiday season approaching comes a focus on feasts, family photos, and celebrations. For folks who have complicated relationships with body image and food, this time of year can heighten feelings of insecurity. Rather than being present as you soak up the laughs (and maybe a few tears) with your loved ones, your mind may try to pull you away from the moment.
Will Aunt Jane make yet another comment about the food I chose to eat this year?
What if others notice my body has [insert any of the countless ways our bodies change over time]?
Despite what diet culture would have you believe, we’re here to remind you: your worth is not tied to your plate, your clothing size, or any measure of appearance. We also know that it’s hard to stay grounded when the body and food comments start flying – that’s why reflecting ahead of time can be helpful.
By reflecting and grounding in advance, you create a mental anchor to rely on when challenges arise. See below for some thoughtful prompts to help you navigate this holiday season with food and body self-compassion, as well as intentionality, at the forefront.
If you’re not sure which to start with, see which of the following statements you relate to for a quick guide:
- It’s a struggle to enjoy holiday events because of body and food concerns. (Prompt #1 and Prompt #3)
- You’ve been feeling really out of touch with your body lately. (Prompt #5)
- It feels like food and body anxiety takes over without your awareness. (Prompt #1 and Prompt #2)
- A plan of action helps you stay grounded. (Prompt #2 and Prompt #4)
- Your mind tends to stray towards the negatives without recognizing the positives. (Prompt #5)
- You anticipate food and body commentary from others. (Prompt #2 and Prompt #4)
Take a few intentional minutes to ponder one – or all – of the questions. Write, doodle, close your eyes, or talk out (alone or with someone) what comes up for you as you read.
Setting the Stage: Reflection Questions & Prompts
Prompt #1: Shifting the Focus
- When I think about upcoming gatherings, what is the primary fear I have about my body or food?
- Now, what is it that I really value about these gatherings?
- Even if the fear is here, how can I move in the direction of what matters and is important to me?
Prompt #2: Identifying Safe Practices
- What are two simple, concrete things I can do before or during an event (e.g., a five-minute walk, wearing a favorite comfortable outfit, spending time with one trusted person) that would make my body feel safe, respected, and supported?
Prompt #3: The Vessel of Memories
- My body has carried me through many previous holidays.
- What is one positive, non-appearance-related memory from a past holiday that I cherish?
- How was my body an asset in creating that moment (e.g., strong enough to hug a loved one, energetic enough to laugh)?
Prompt #4: Creating Boundaries with Kindness
- If I overhear a triggering comment about food, bodies, or weight, what is a kind yet firm statement I can say (to myself or to the person) to protect my peace?
- Alternatively, what is an action I can take (e.g., politely stepping away, changing the subject) to gently enforce my boundary?
Prompt #5: Practicing Gratitude for Function
- Today, what is one non-aesthetic thing my body did for me that I can be genuinely grateful for (e.g., it helped me smell my coffee, it let me feel the warmth of a blanket, it kept me breathing)?
- Write a short letter of thanks to your body for that function.
Remember: This season is about the experiences you create, and your body is a vessel for those beloved memories. Thoughts and worries about food and your body may stick around – and you can still choose to show up for what is important to you.
So, what should you do if you (or someone you know) is experiencing difficulties with body image and/or eating?
If you’ve noticed changes in how you or a loved one relate to food, movement, or body, professional support may be helpful. Our trained providers at ChangeWell Psych are here to help create a safe, nonjudgmental environment for healing and growth.
