Sometimes it hits before we even realize it. One minute we’re “fine,” and the next it’s like a switch has flipped. All of the sudden…
You’re not good. You’re not fine. You’re not anywhere in the realm of “okay.”
Why does this happen? How can you feel so functional one second, and then be located so deep in the pits of despair (or numbness – see Sign #2 below) the next? There are many reasons why this happens to all of us (and I do mean all of us) at one point or another.
Maybe you’ve worked too hard on that one project or assignment, leaving you with little time for sleep and, subsequently, little ability to physiologically regulate. Maybe you grew up in a space where survival was the primary focus, and emotions got pushed to the wayside. Maybe you exist in a culture where emotional burn-out is the norm, and to be in a different mental state means you’re not doing enough. There are hundreds of reasons why emotional burn-out can hit us seemingly out of nowhere.
Wondering if you’re experiencing emotional burn-out? Below, I’ll share with you some clinical cues that you are, in fact, reaching the point of utter emotional exhaustion. It’s important for us to know our own warning signs so that we can intervene early and set ourselves up for success (and, hopefully, avoid the depths of despair that is “emotional burn-out”).
1. Your appetite, sleep, and bodily sensations are off.
Are you having difficulty sleeping? Or, on the other hand, feeling like no amount of sleep does the trick?
Are you having a hard time cueing into your body’s hunger and fullness cues? (Sometimes this can look like forgetting to eat until your body forces you to confront your needs; other times, this can look like eating numbly without attending to what your body is telling you.)
Is your body achy or tense?
Often, our bodies tell us things before we consciously acknowledge them ourselves.
2. You feel all of the things…or nothing at all.
For some of us, emotional burn-out presents as a persistent state of overwhelm. Even small tasks feel too daunting. We feel cornered by all of our responsibilities.
For others, emotional burn-out feels like nothing. We don’t care about our passions the way we usually do, and activities we used to enjoy don’t feel as rewarding. You could receive the most exciting news, or news you’ve been dreading, but it falls flat with you. (The fancy therapy word for this experience, when it persists over a longer period of time, is anhedonia.)
3. You’re doomscrolling. All the time.
The concept of “doomscrolling” is thrown around all the time – and it’s important to monitor within the context of the current oh-so-digital age we live in.
In its essence, doomscrolling is avoidance. We often use it to sidestep uncomfortable emotions, dreaded tasks, or undesirable realities. When we’re emotionally burnt out, our urges to avoid increase because everything feels so overwhelming (or everything feels so fruitless).
4. Engaging with others feels like a chore.
A big sign of emotional burn-out for many of us is a lack of interest in being around other people (unless this is your default mode, in which case…that’s fair).
This goes along with Sign #2. We’re humans. We need people, in some form or quantity that is individual to each of us. If you know your norm regarding sociability, and recognize that something has shifted, this can be a sign of emotional exhaustion.
Okay, so now that you know the signs that you’re doing so-not-okay emotionally. Next question: If you recognize yourself in them, what should you do about it?
The first thing is best enacted with a time machine, but more realistically learned through life experience: Get to know yourself and your warning signs. Attune preemptively.
If tuning into your body is within your wheelhouse, try making an intentional effort to check in periodically. Has your appetite shifted? Is your sleep schedule off? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: our bodies can give us so many clues about our wellbeing, both physically and mentally.
- Monitor your screen time. Or, if your avoidance manifests as watching TV nonstop or consistently escaping reality through literary devices (i.e., you’re reading a lot), check in with yourself around this.
- How are your emotions doing? Does your default setting seem to be leaning towards overwhelmed at all times, or are things starting to feel bleh?
- Does the idea of being around others sound less than ideal on a consistent basis? Again, think of this within the context of your own personal people-related habits. Are those things changing, and is dread or apathy coinciding with those changes?
The minute you notice any of your warning signs, prioritize basic life needs.
My clients could probably write that phrase with their eyes closed, given how much I say it. But seriously, it’s important!
- If you’re not fed in the way your body needs, you’re going to feel bad. And I’m not just talking about diet. Emotionally, physically, you name it. If you’re not keeping a regular sleep schedule (7-9 hours a night for most of us), you’re going to: a) feel groggy, b) experience a decline in cognitive functioning, c) snap at other people, or d) all of the above.
- Talk to your people. Whether that’s one important person in your life, or 10, tell them what you’re noticing.
- Tell them what you’re thinking, or feeling if that’s possible for you right now. Sometimes, the people that know us have the best suggestions (or the best listening ears, if that’s what you’re wanting at the moment).
- Weather the storm (with some caveats). Take your breaks. It can take time to heal from emotional burn-out.
It’s not fun, but it’s a reality; emotional burn-out develops over time, so recovering from this state will as well.
Ask your people for support. Communicate what you’re needing. Cut back on unessential duties. Keep prioritizing your basic life needs. Monitor your warning signs for improvement.
If things aren’t improving, or you want a helping hand to guide you through the process, seek professional support. I get it – emotional burn-out can be miserable. But I want you to know you don’t have to do it alone, and you can make it through the process with someone who gets it.If things aren’t improving, or if you want a helping hand to guide you through the process, we invite you to seek professional support. Take the next step towards healing by reaching out to us at hello@changewellpsych.com or (704) 826-2709. Don’t let emotional burnout dictate your life; we are here to help you ChangeWell.
